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Beta Males - There's Less Competition Than Ever In The Dating Pool
by vivian Jan 17, Relationships 23 comments. They go for the bad boys, or at least they did do until they got the secret I discovered the hard way. I was hooked on online dating beta males bad boy when I was young. I would never have dreamed of dating a Beta male. My attraction to him was instantaneous and intense. He consumed me.
I felt safe. He was going to deliver this wonderful happy-ever-after he promised. It was online dating beta males whirlwind romance. But it descended into online dating beta males terrifying, exciting rollercoaster. There were tumultuous fireworks, followed by chasms of hurt and pain.
Round and round in a crazy cycle. It scraped bottom with me almost losing my life, as he squeezed my throat and told me to die.
I stayed with him for some time, even after that. It was a like a magnet that pulled me back and I was powerless to stop its force. But then the pain of leaving him was so great, I craved that high he could give me once again. I just wanted him to sweep me into his arms again and everything would be okay.
I did find the courage to leave, but only after marrying him and having his baby. I thought that each of these acts would finally prove I was worthy of him and make the relationship work. I was wrong. The relationship was doomed from the start. You could describe me, I guess, as an Alpha female. The mirror to him in a way, online dating beta males. But all that confidence and cockiness I had when I was young, belied the truth that I never felt good enough.
Deep down he was the same as me. Our baggage matched. But I could hide my insecurities behind this role I played. It hid the fact it was me I needed to fix. That matching baggage feels familiar and comfortable. It felt right, like we just fit. It took many more to see myself for who I was, a frightened child inside the body of an adult, online dating beta males. It hurt to see her. But I finally knew what I had to do to heal.
Focus on her, learn to love myself and accept that I am good enough. I deserve better. Then I met my Beta boy. Started dating a Beta male. I did it right this time, when I married him. But the ones who are, are all bluff and no substance. They say everything you want to hear and can sweep a girl off her feet.
But when it comes down to it, they talk the talk, but do they walk the walk? They promise you the world, but do they deliver on that? Even so, so many of us keep hoping and waiting for it to come. You may not get the massive fireworks at the start with a Beta boy. You might even dismiss them, at first, as boring. Mine kept simply showing up and being there for me. There was time spent getting to know each other. It scared me, online dating beta males.
I was used to intensity, followed by an argument that came out of nowhere, only for Bad Boy to disappear. I tried to push Beta Boy away. Revealing the real me to him scared me. What if I repulsed him and ran away? It tapped into my greatest fear. I feared abandonment, so I guess was trying to end it, before he ditched me. They are there for you. Fireworks, with dramatic break ups and intense reunions are not love. To avoid intimacy and true trust. The necessary ingredients for a healthy relationship.
Without trust you can never reveal your true self to another person. My beta husband knows me better than anyone else. He knows my flaws, all my weaknesses and fears. He has allowed me to online dating beta males vulnerable, but has never used it as a weapon against me.
Beta boys are secure in themselves. Male or female. Bad boys are the opposite. They isolate you. They want to control you. Forget about ever mentioning male friends or colleagues. They even get jealous of your girlfriends! Yes, at first they might seem like the quiet puppy in the corner at the pound, online dating beta males. The one in the corner, hands down. Not the troublemaker. They can be strong for you when you need then to be. They will lift you up and support you.
Exactly when you need it the most, the time a bad boy would run a mile. One minute they can be strong for you, the next you can be for them, online dating beta males. Online dating beta males allow you to be yourself.
Online dating beta males love you unconditionally and expect to you to offer the same. My husband is step-father to my first born with my ex. We then went on to have a second son. But celebrating my career as a working woman as well. Even tell me I look beautiful, still after decades of marriage. They treat all others as equal. Get over the Alphas and their dramatic peacock displays and pyrotechnics.
Whilst the Alpha gets lost in the fog of the fireworks and disappears, Beta will be the one to stick around. First published in Thought Catalog. I am going to share this article with him.
I too tried to push him away as his kindness and vulnerability frightened me. I was so used to the crazy roller coaster relationship that I did not believe this could be real! I am so fortunate that I have this incredibly strong, loving and kind soul in my life.
I agree completely that beta is alpha and I hope that all women who have such a man truly appreciate him. I know I certainly do. He WILL change. An Alpha male is calm, respectful, gentle, open to discussion and reasoning, willing to see things another way. When something goes wrong a beta blames everyone else for his failings.
A beta male is constantly competing to be top dog without actually understanding what being a true alpha actually means. Betas belittle those around them online dating beta males make themselves feel better. They lie, manipulate, And bully, online dating beta males, And make terrible parents.
There is the alpha-beta, he is the one that abuses and manipulates those around him, And blames everyone else for his failings.
The #1 THING Only \
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